Once upon a time, in the faraway and sometimes beautiful (but often horrid) land of Highschoolia, in the province of Lighthousical Academial, across the river of Homeworkish where the dragons of Procrastination reside, there was a young junior.
This young junior was locked in a tower of Historia and could not get out. Her only chance of escape rested in a small piece of oratory. This oratory was half-written and confused and distracted but she knew if she did not complete it by morning the Wizards of Teacherdom would swoop down upon her poor soul, eat it, and then (ultimately) destroy the universe.
So she labored extensively, reading books of research and compiling her information, dreading the day to come, knowing it would bring her to ruin... Unless...
Suddenly she had an idea. She called upon her fairy godmother with all her might. The fairy godmother's name was Mother Google and she arrived with a burst of definition glitter and explained the concept of an 'open market' to the poor, confused junior's mind. She didn't quite understand but she thought, perhaps, her small understanding would do. At least... she hoped it would.
And then... as the rays of the rising sun rose over the brilliant mountains of Lighthousical Academial the junior took a deep, shaky, petrified, but halfway confident breath. She was ready. She stood before the Council of Wizards of Teacherdom, and with shaking knees, presented her oratorical speech of freedom.
To her astonishment her idea had succeeded! She had so astounded the minds of the Wizards with her brilliant speech that they sat drooling in the carpet and never rose up to challenge her again!
She ran down the forty-seven flights of stairs to the great door of Exit and Freedom and burst out into a world of butterflies, chocolate, good grades and sunshine. Her fingers could stop typing, her brain could stop hurting... It was a beautiful occasion. She frolicked in among the bright flowers and butterflies and danced without a care in the world.
Everything was so bright and lovely and she couldn't really see where she was going but it didn't matter! She was free! The young junior jumped and squealed her delight to the sky................................................................. and fell into a evil pit owned by none other than the Troll of VileTrigonometrical Functionalia.